Sorry, it doesn't really make sense

I've been very distracted lately.
This whole week i was completely distracted.
May it be in school, studies, communication.
They all fall into the categories.
I fear about my studies.
Whether i'll go to through train or not.
Whether my maths is eligible to take Amath or not.
When i stop studying, i'll feel a sense of insecurity.
And a sense of guilt.
Like i've not completed anything at all.
Or i've not try my best to study.
Same with communication.
Some times i feel that i've been too rash in talking.
Be it to people i'm close or by blood.
Some times i'll spout things that weren't meant to be said.
Maybe i said things in which hurt someone or let down some way or another.
I gradually say i'm sorry for all this.
For my attitude thru communication.
Pardon me, as i've been caught up realizing what today really means and whats going on now.
That now, i'm exploring what God dusted off.
Seeing a clearer picture of my life.
I'm sorry if i'm lethargic of doing things.
Cos i'm very tired from muscle(physical) to heart(emotional).
A big sorry if i'm being a bit straight talking and maybe a slight of an anger thru my speech.
Though this doesn't make sense at all.
But i'm still glad and hope for God to paint a wider picture for me to see.
Iloveyou GOD.